yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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