That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
