There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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