Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
