I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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