There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
