That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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