Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
