think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
