Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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