that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
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