covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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