How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
