no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
