gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
