hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
are you so shy because you have an std?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
