No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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