areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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