she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
