i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I queefed so loud it echoed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
