Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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