We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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