glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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