I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She just used a chaser for red wine.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
