Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
