Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize