his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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