it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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