He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
