I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
