his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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