she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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