my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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