After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
