Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
