I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
