would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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