I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
