Quick, to the slutcave!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
