hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
