i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
