we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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