I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
