Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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