so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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