Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
