So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
