If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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