No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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