Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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