We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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