I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
