I think I am morally bankrupt
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
