THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
