yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
