part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
