it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You have to summon your inner elephant
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
