I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
