ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
