Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
