Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
