I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Drunk is not a location!
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